The Humor and Life, in Particular Web site
author:  Margie Culbertson



August/September, 2002, Humor Writing Contest Winner
Best Very Short Humor!



Some Puppies Go Home

By

James Bassett

She was telling us of her Sealyham terrier, more of the final days than anything else. She was "determined”, of this we had no doubt, to be sure the dog retained those "testy terrier traits”, though, hopefully, a little grown and calmed by some years. Her amusement of these traits, we could easily see, arose out of an obvious respect for all people and living creatures and their independence. We directed her toward a few small, more distinguished terrier-mix dogs in the adoption kennels.

She left with one blinding white, 12 week old female Samoyed, whose stilling blue eyes were set firmly within distinct, almost cosmetic, lid lines, in one hand --AND-- one directionally indiscriminate 4 month old bounding Afghan in the other. Her unbalanced, jolting exit was as contradictory to her introductory demeanor as her choice of companions in relation to her exacting intentions.

Slightly late to work the following morning, you see she had just joined our own staff; a lengthy list of events began with a yard flooded by a watering system now minus every water-regulating emitter component. "Soliel”, that very princely appearing Samoyed pup, had found them immediately entertaining. Finding the screen door to the Garden Room knocked to the floor by the cats during the night, one ceiling light fixture was shattered while lifting it out of the way en route to the water system shutoff. After removing several tiny pieces of glass from her toes, she found the broom. It had been chewed down a few inches by "Abe”, the name given the gangly, bearded Afghan, leaving the broom now chest high and "depositing annoying little splinters in a rather embarrassing area” as she swept up the shattered glass of the broken light fixture.

Removing the splinters and showering away the morning’s rude awakening, she returned to a typically eventful greeting by "Abe” which poured her "beaker” of coffee down her robe just as she spied "Soliel” grabbing sandwich strips of London Broil from a plate on the counter which prompted a reaction from her that upended a one cup less than full pot of coffee from the stove.

There she was at work the next day: in the one hand a colorful tetherball dangling and banging from its string and an upright flyswatter flickering much like a balloon and she was holding the leash of "Soliel”. The other hand presented a bouquet of chew toys and held a now disabling leash that was wrapped about her midriff and one leg by the always actively and unidirectional "Abe”. Luckily her explanation was not presented in a manner to elicit sympathies. The sight of it evoked the same muted chuckling presented by this same perfectly mannered person donned with the equipment of puppy entertainment.

The vision of this person bearing a distinctly precise deportment vacillated with the picture of a children’s afternoon party clown. And, knowing full well the effects of this sight as she stood unquestionably bound and bridled, she playfully affected indignity with, "So this is what the Humane Society reduces one to".


©James Bassett







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©Margie Culbertson




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